I was gutted but not altogether surprised, when I didn’t hear from Will. I decided to keep busy, move on and learn from my mistakes. Luckily I was really busy at work, which kept me occupied and kept my mind off the fact that being single wasn’t as much fun as I’d thought.
That Saturday morning I lay in bed and thought about what I could do to find a man. Maybe I could try speed dating. I dialled the number of my best mate Millie.
“Hiya Mills. It’s Charlie”.
“Oh Hi Charlie. How’s it going?”
I told her my woes and how things had gone pear shaped with Will.
“So I was wondering.” I said persuasively, as I toyed with the cord of the phone, “if you fancy going speed dating tonight?”
There was silence on the other end of the phone.
“Oh, I don’t know Charlie. It’s not really my kind of thing.”
“Oh please Mills, do it for me.” I batted my eyelashes. I know technically Millie couldn’t actually see what I was doing but I thought it was worth a try. “Just support me; you don’t actually have to find yourself a man, just pretend.”
After another five minutes or so of persuasion and emotional blackmail I managed to persuade Millie to come with me, although I think it was against her better judgement.
We met at Waterloo station and headed to MacDonald’s to line our stomachs with McChicken Premieres and strawberry milkshakes. As Millie put it,
“God knows we’ll need a drink.”
The speed dating website said we should arrive at 7 for a 730 start and stressed that it was important to get there in plenty of time to register and fill in all the necessary forms. By the time we got to the venue, in Covent Garden, it was 7.15 and I was panicking that we were going to be late.
Millie was dragging her feet and texting Peter. Peter was a guy she’d been seeing on and off for about four years. He basically only contacted Mills every few weeks when he wanted shag, which really pissed me off. Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for fuck buddies but I knew that Millie really liked him and he hurt her over and over again.
“Come on Mills”, I said impatiently.
The speed-dating event was held in a bar in Poland Street, just off Oxford Street. I didn’t think I’d be nervous but as we walked in my heart was pounding in my chest. We walked up to the registration desk and Millie gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.
We gave our details to the guys on the registration desk and then went to the bar to get a drink. Dutch courage was very much a necessity.
I looked around the room nervously. There seemed to be quite a few guys alone. I have to say the calibre of the men wasn’t that great. The age range was supposed to be 23-32 but one guy in particular looked as thought he was approaching 50. On the other hand, the girls all looked gorgeous. They all looked like they’d spent a lot of time and effort on their hair and make-up. They were all really slim as well and suddenly I felt a bit insecure.
Millie saw me looking at them. She must have read my thoughts.
“Charlie,” she said firmly, with an uncharacteristic burst of confidence.. “We are both gorgeous and sexy and we can hold our own. Anyway look at those girls, they might be pretty but they look bloody miserable and hard-faced. Plus I bet they don’t have our wit and charm”.
Mind you Millie is absolutely gorgeous. She’s tall, slim and tanned with gorgeous long legs. She’s got amazing long brown hair with blonde highlights. It’s naturally straight, she doesn’t have to straighten it. People often say she looks like Jennifer Anniston. I would be really jealous if I didn’t love her so much. She hasn’t got any tits though. I might be a bit overweight but at least I’ve got amazing tits. A couple of people have said that I look like Sophie Dahl but I don’t know what she looks like, so I don’t know. Apparently she’s a fat super model, so I’m not sure if that’s a compliment or not.
I grinned. I knew she was right. I immediately felt better. Just then one of the organisers announced that we were about to start and asked us to take our seats. All the girls were given numbers and we had to sit at tables with corresponding numbers. The guys would come round and we would have three minutes in which to get to know one another. The organisers would ring a bell when the three minutes were up. We had little cards that we had to fill out in between dates. We had to tick yes, no or maybe and there was a space for us to write comments.
The first guy that came to my table was called Mark. He was ok looking and he had a great smile. To my delight he told me he was a buyer for a chain of pubs. This was fantastic, I thought. I could bag a man and do business at the same time. I told him about my job and I told him that I could do him a deal on his frozen food. Mark seemed to be quite impressed and I thought we got on really well. Apart from that most of the guys were ok but not amazing. It was quite difficult filling in the card between dates. I didn’t really have enough time. It was also a challenge to fill out the card without any of the guys seeing what I was doing and then I was trying to keep it hidden. I was also trying to sneak a look at their cards without them noticing.
I met the old guy and he was quite eccentric. He was definitely not my type. There was a guy from Croatia, with bad skin and big, bushy eyebrows. He was very keen and just a little bit desperate. There was also a tall, skinny guy with glasses. He wore a pale blue shirt tucked into black trousers that were too short. He looked a bit of a geek and as it turns out he was a computer programmer. He was very intense. He told me that his name was Mike and that in his spare time he was addicted to computer games.
When we stopped for a break Millie went to get the drinks in and I went to the loo as I was bursting. I have a very weak bladder and it appeared that most of the other girls had the same problem. As I stood at the back of a fairly long queue, I shifted from foot to foot. The movement seems to help when my bladder’s playing up. I don’t know why. I was shocked by the conversations I heard going on around me. One girl in particular sounded like she’d gone to public school and was braying to her friend.
“Well I think it’s shocking. The quality of the men is appalling. I just sit there and look the other way. I refuse to speak to them. I’ve only spoken to one man so far.”
I felt indignant on the guys’ behalf. I know the guys weren’t great but there was no need for that! What a stuck-up bitch!
When I got back to the bar Millie had got us both a glass of wine. Sauvignon Blanc for her and Chardonnay for me. Millie loved a crisp Sauvignon Blanc, whereas I preferred a creamy Chardonnay. She was being hounded by the guy from Croatia and she looked slightly bewildered. I claimed my drink and she looked very relieved to see me. As we were chatting I spotted a guy that oozed sex appeal. He was quite good-looking but it wasn’t that that made him so sexy. It was his broad cheeky grin and that fact that he radiated confidence. He was with a mate and he was stood chatting to a couple of girls. I sensed that the girls thought he was a bit cocky but I was intrigued.
He must have sensed me looking at him. He looked up and caught my eye and winked before turning back to the girls.
“Did you see that?” I said to Millie excitedly.
She didn’t look too impressed.
“Yes Charlie, and he looks like a right cocky wanker.”
When we sat down again, the guy in question was the first guy to sit at my table. I had to admit that he was a bit full of himself but I just couldn’t help fancying him. He was really sexy. I found out that his name was Matt and that he was a traffic cop. I really like him. He really made me laugh with his Jack-The-Lad Manner.
I didn’t really concentrate on any of the other guys. I was keeping my eye on Matt as he made his way around the room. A lot of the girls didn’t seem to be particularly enamoured with him.
When the speed-dating bit was over I persuaded Mills to stay for another drink in the hope that I would be able to talk to Matt. Within moments I had geeky Mike at my side and Mills was being hounded by the Croatian guy again.
I was attempting to feign interest in geeky mike and at the same time watch Matt out of the corner of my eye. I could see he was chatting to the same girls he had been with earlier. The girls were all slim and tanned and immaculately dressed. I was gutted. How could I compete with that, I thought miserably.
I caught Millie’s eye.
“Shall we go?” I asked.
“God, I thought you’d never ask.”
As we collected our coats I sensed someone walk up behind us. It was Matt.
“Hey I can’t believe you’re leaving without giving me your number.” He grinned. I was elated.
He tapped my number into his phone. He said goodbye and kissed me on the cheek. I left the bar feeling fantastic.
Millie and I walked to the tube station and within minutes I had a text from Matt. I was really chuffed. He must really like me. He was really keen.
Hi Charlie. It was fantastic to meet you tonight. This is my number. Matt x
From: +447213625701
22:19 28-OCT-06
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Monday, 8 October 2007
Rule No. 3 - Never talk about your ex-boyfriend on a date
As Wednesday dawned I was beginning to feel very excited about going over to Will’s. He was going to cook me dinner. Surely that was a good sign. You don’t cook dinner for someone unless you’re pretty keen on them.
On Tuesday night I spent the evening beautifying myself. I put an intensive conditioner on my hair, applied a face masque and trimmed and shaved all my hairy bits. As I was straightening my hair, I got a text message from Will.
Hey you. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night.
From: Will
20:03 17-OCT-06
I felt a glow inside and my heart skipped a beat.
When I got to Will’s the next evening he was cooking Spaghetti Bolognese. He grabbed me and snogged me as soon as I got in the door. To my horror we sat down on the sofa and ate dinner whilst watching Wales v Russia in a world cup qualifier.
“I can’t believe we’re watching football on our first date,” I said.
“I thought you liked football,” said Will
“I do, but not that much, and it’s Wales v Russia!”
I wasn’t too impressed with the Spaghetti Bolognese either. I like to think I’m quite a good cook and a lot of peoples cooking doesn’t meet my high standards. This particular meal was pretty dire though. There was hardly any meat in it, there were big chunks of crunchy garlic and the sauce came out from a jar. I always make mine from scratch.
After dinner we watched the football and I kept dropping hints that I’d rather be doing something else.
“Well, you could always do something to distract me,” said Will suggestively.
I knew what he had in mind but I have to admit I suddenly felt really shy. Eventually though we made it onto the lounge floor, which was pretty uncomfortable and then into the bedroom.
After a session of amazing sex, we just lay there chatting.
“Has anyone ever told you you’ve got amazing tits?” said Will.
As it happened a lot of people had said something similar and I was always very flattered. Although there was always a small part of me that thought they were probably just trying to get in my knickers.
Will asked me why Cam and I had split up. I spent ages going into great detail about all of Cam’s faults and how I had wanted to get married but Cam wasn’t ready to commit. Later, as Will was gently snoring by my side I wondered whether I should have gone into so much detail. It probably didn’t make me a very attractive prospect. But then surely you should be honest with each other from the start. I had always believed that communication was the key to a successful relationship.
It was beginning to dawn on me how easy I’d had it with Cam and David. They had both been completely besotted with me from the start. I never had to worry about coming on too strong or playing hard to get. Cam and David had both been nice guys and treated me really well. They were too nice really. I decided I needed a to go out with someone with a bit more about them, with a bit more get up and go. I realised that in order to get a guy like that, I needed to start playing a bit harder to get.
I really liked Will but I wasn’t sure if he could be the one. He was very good looking, amazing in bed and really good fun but there was just something that I wasn’t quite sure about. I couldn’t put my finger on it.
I was finding it really difficult to sleep. It was very hard to relax in somebody else’s bed, especially when that somebody was very sexy and lying beside me naked. I was very conscious of tossing and turning in I case I woke Will. I also really badly needed to fart. I had to keep going into the bathroom in order to break wind. No sooner had I got back into bed than I needed to fart again.
In the end I did doze off for an hour or two. I woke up to find Will pulling me towards him for some more incredible sex. He woke me up again first thing in the morning and we had sex before we both went off to work.
I was quite impressed that Will made me breakfast. Ok, it was only tea and toast but still.
“So, when can I see you again?” I asked. As soon as the words came out of my mouth I regretted them.
“Oh I’m not sure what plans I’ve got. I’ll let you know.”
“Well, I’m free on Saturday if that’s any good.” God, what was the matter with me? I just couldn’t help myself.
I had arranged my appointments around Surrey that day, which was where Will lived. I sent him a text about 10 ‘o’ clock.
Thx for a gr8 night and gr8 sex. Hope to see you Saturday. xx
To: Will
10:02 19-OCT-06
I wasn’t sure if should have text him. Maybe I was coming on a bit strong. But I didn’t want to be rude. Surely you should say thank you after a date, I thought.
On Tuesday night I spent the evening beautifying myself. I put an intensive conditioner on my hair, applied a face masque and trimmed and shaved all my hairy bits. As I was straightening my hair, I got a text message from Will.
Hey you. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow night.
From: Will
20:03 17-OCT-06
I felt a glow inside and my heart skipped a beat.
When I got to Will’s the next evening he was cooking Spaghetti Bolognese. He grabbed me and snogged me as soon as I got in the door. To my horror we sat down on the sofa and ate dinner whilst watching Wales v Russia in a world cup qualifier.
“I can’t believe we’re watching football on our first date,” I said.
“I thought you liked football,” said Will
“I do, but not that much, and it’s Wales v Russia!”
I wasn’t too impressed with the Spaghetti Bolognese either. I like to think I’m quite a good cook and a lot of peoples cooking doesn’t meet my high standards. This particular meal was pretty dire though. There was hardly any meat in it, there were big chunks of crunchy garlic and the sauce came out from a jar. I always make mine from scratch.
After dinner we watched the football and I kept dropping hints that I’d rather be doing something else.
“Well, you could always do something to distract me,” said Will suggestively.
I knew what he had in mind but I have to admit I suddenly felt really shy. Eventually though we made it onto the lounge floor, which was pretty uncomfortable and then into the bedroom.
After a session of amazing sex, we just lay there chatting.
“Has anyone ever told you you’ve got amazing tits?” said Will.
As it happened a lot of people had said something similar and I was always very flattered. Although there was always a small part of me that thought they were probably just trying to get in my knickers.
Will asked me why Cam and I had split up. I spent ages going into great detail about all of Cam’s faults and how I had wanted to get married but Cam wasn’t ready to commit. Later, as Will was gently snoring by my side I wondered whether I should have gone into so much detail. It probably didn’t make me a very attractive prospect. But then surely you should be honest with each other from the start. I had always believed that communication was the key to a successful relationship.
It was beginning to dawn on me how easy I’d had it with Cam and David. They had both been completely besotted with me from the start. I never had to worry about coming on too strong or playing hard to get. Cam and David had both been nice guys and treated me really well. They were too nice really. I decided I needed a to go out with someone with a bit more about them, with a bit more get up and go. I realised that in order to get a guy like that, I needed to start playing a bit harder to get.
I really liked Will but I wasn’t sure if he could be the one. He was very good looking, amazing in bed and really good fun but there was just something that I wasn’t quite sure about. I couldn’t put my finger on it.
I was finding it really difficult to sleep. It was very hard to relax in somebody else’s bed, especially when that somebody was very sexy and lying beside me naked. I was very conscious of tossing and turning in I case I woke Will. I also really badly needed to fart. I had to keep going into the bathroom in order to break wind. No sooner had I got back into bed than I needed to fart again.
In the end I did doze off for an hour or two. I woke up to find Will pulling me towards him for some more incredible sex. He woke me up again first thing in the morning and we had sex before we both went off to work.
I was quite impressed that Will made me breakfast. Ok, it was only tea and toast but still.
“So, when can I see you again?” I asked. As soon as the words came out of my mouth I regretted them.
“Oh I’m not sure what plans I’ve got. I’ll let you know.”
“Well, I’m free on Saturday if that’s any good.” God, what was the matter with me? I just couldn’t help myself.
I had arranged my appointments around Surrey that day, which was where Will lived. I sent him a text about 10 ‘o’ clock.
Thx for a gr8 night and gr8 sex. Hope to see you Saturday. xx
To: Will
10:02 19-OCT-06
I wasn’t sure if should have text him. Maybe I was coming on a bit strong. But I didn’t want to be rude. Surely you should say thank you after a date, I thought.
Rule no. 2. Never call a guy back and say “Are you going to ask me out at all?”
By Tuesday I still hadn’t heard from Will. I was gutted. I felt so stupid. I couldn’t believe I was so easy and available. I so should not have slept with him. I should have known better by my age.
I mooched around all day, looking like a wet weekend. I’m a Sales Rep so I have to be all friendly and bubbly all day. I thought I was doing really well, until my appointment after lunch when Bill, the owner of the Dog and Duck said I looked rough and had I had a heavy weekend? Cheeky git, I thought.
I worked for Bob Thornton Frozen foods. I used spend most of my days trawling around catering establishments trying to flog the food. It was quite cool. I had a wicked company car. It was an ink blue Renault Megane, the one with the funny bottom. It was my baby. I was pretty good at my job. I was one of the top five sales reps in the company. Another good thing about the job was that I used to spend a large proportion of my day chatting with pub landlords over coffee and a cigarette, and hopefully getting an order out of them as well of course.
I went into the office at the end of the day to pick up my post.
“My god”, exclaimed Jayne, my telesales girl. “You look like you need cheering up. I’m going to Ceroc tomorrow night. Why don’t you come along?”
Jayne was addicted to Ceroc. It’s a kind of modern jive; a cross between jive and Salsa. I’d meaning to go for a while.
“Ok. Why not?”
It wasn’t as if I had anything better to do and it might help to take my mind off Will.
Wednesday came and there was still no word from Will, but I was looking forward to trying out Ceroc. It sounded like a good way for a single girl like myself to meet a bloke.
Ceroc was held at a nightclub in the sticks. I picked up Jayne on the way.
“All right Luv?” said Jayne as she got in my car. “You heard from him then?”
I just looked at her.
“I’ll take that as a no then,” she cackled.
I had a great time at Ceroc. It was really good fun. The moves were really impressive and looked as though they would be really difficult but I was pleasantly surprised to find that they were really easy. It was quite a sexy dance as well, which was a bonus. Especially as there were quite a few fit guys.
I didn’t think about Will until I had dropped Jayne off. I checked my phone but it was blank. No missed calls or text messages. Gutted.
I was driving along listening to love songs on Magic, berating myself once again for having fucked things up with Will, when my phone beeped.
It was a voice message from Will.
“Hi Charlie. It’s me Will. Give me a call.”
I was so delighted. I was on cloud nine. Suddenly the love songs on Magic seemed to be full of joy rather than despondency as they had only moments ago.
Will must have called while I was at Ceroc out in the sticks with no signal. Excellent, that would make me look unavailable. I was playing hard to get without even trying.
I drove home with a massive grin on my face. Unfortunately I was still living at Cam’s but I was relieved to find that he was already in bed in the spare room when I got home so I didn’t have to make polite conversation.
I decided I’d better make more of an effort to find somewhere to live.
The next day I woke up feeling really happy and positive. I leapt out of bed and walked around the house singing, as I got ready for work. Cam eyed me suspiciously over his paper and his cornflakes.
“Are you ok Charlie? Isn’t it a bit early for you to be up? And how come you’re so chirpy?”
I ignored him and carried on singing as I went up the stairs to get dressed. He did have a point though. I usually stayed in bed until the last possible moment when I rolled out of bed groaning. I would then decide that I didn’t have time for a shower and pull my hair back into a ponytail in the hope that no-one would notice how greasy it looked. I was supposed to be at my first appointment by nine and leave my last appointment at five but in reality I usually left the house at just gone nine and was back in plenty of time for Neighbours. Luckily I was good at my job and my customers loved me so I mainly got away it. The only person who did complain was the cold store manager who lived over the road from me and he was always making sly comments about my company car still being outside my house at gone 9am, but everyone, including myself, pretty much ignored him.
I spent the day in an excellent mood. I decided that I would call Will that evening and I was going to start flat hunting. It was time to move on.
I had an excellent day at work. I was on a roll. I took three orders from existing customers and opened two reasonably sized accounts. I also managed to look at two rooms in shared flats in my lunch break, but they weren’t any good.
I went straight to the gym after I had finished all my appointments and did an RPM class and then chilled out in the Jacuzzi.
When I got home I dialled Will’s number. We had a really good flirty chat and had a good laugh. After about half an hour I thought I’d better wind up the conversation.
“Well, it was great chatting to you but I’d better go now. I want to watch Holby.”
This was great. I was getting so good at this playing hard to get stuff and I only been single for thirteen days!
I sat down and watched Holby while my M&S “Count on Us” ready meal was in the oven. I just couldn’t keep my mind on it though. As I watched it I started to worry. Why hadn’t Will asked me out? But nine ‘o’ clock I was in a right state. I decided to call him back. I twirled my hair around my fingers nervously as the phone rang.
“Hi Will. It’s Charlie again.”
“Oh Hi.”
There was a pause.
“Um. I was just wondering if you were going to ask me out at all?”
There was a moment’s silence.
“Er right,” said Will. “Ok. Well what about next Wednesday? Would you like to come over to dinner?”
“Yeah. That would be great. I’ll see you then.”
As I hung up I had the horrible feeling that I’d made a big mistake. Never mind, I thought. I tried to look on the bright side. At least I had a date with Will.
I mooched around all day, looking like a wet weekend. I’m a Sales Rep so I have to be all friendly and bubbly all day. I thought I was doing really well, until my appointment after lunch when Bill, the owner of the Dog and Duck said I looked rough and had I had a heavy weekend? Cheeky git, I thought.
I worked for Bob Thornton Frozen foods. I used spend most of my days trawling around catering establishments trying to flog the food. It was quite cool. I had a wicked company car. It was an ink blue Renault Megane, the one with the funny bottom. It was my baby. I was pretty good at my job. I was one of the top five sales reps in the company. Another good thing about the job was that I used to spend a large proportion of my day chatting with pub landlords over coffee and a cigarette, and hopefully getting an order out of them as well of course.
I went into the office at the end of the day to pick up my post.
“My god”, exclaimed Jayne, my telesales girl. “You look like you need cheering up. I’m going to Ceroc tomorrow night. Why don’t you come along?”
Jayne was addicted to Ceroc. It’s a kind of modern jive; a cross between jive and Salsa. I’d meaning to go for a while.
“Ok. Why not?”
It wasn’t as if I had anything better to do and it might help to take my mind off Will.
Wednesday came and there was still no word from Will, but I was looking forward to trying out Ceroc. It sounded like a good way for a single girl like myself to meet a bloke.
Ceroc was held at a nightclub in the sticks. I picked up Jayne on the way.
“All right Luv?” said Jayne as she got in my car. “You heard from him then?”
I just looked at her.
“I’ll take that as a no then,” she cackled.
I had a great time at Ceroc. It was really good fun. The moves were really impressive and looked as though they would be really difficult but I was pleasantly surprised to find that they were really easy. It was quite a sexy dance as well, which was a bonus. Especially as there were quite a few fit guys.
I didn’t think about Will until I had dropped Jayne off. I checked my phone but it was blank. No missed calls or text messages. Gutted.
I was driving along listening to love songs on Magic, berating myself once again for having fucked things up with Will, when my phone beeped.
It was a voice message from Will.
“Hi Charlie. It’s me Will. Give me a call.”
I was so delighted. I was on cloud nine. Suddenly the love songs on Magic seemed to be full of joy rather than despondency as they had only moments ago.
Will must have called while I was at Ceroc out in the sticks with no signal. Excellent, that would make me look unavailable. I was playing hard to get without even trying.
I drove home with a massive grin on my face. Unfortunately I was still living at Cam’s but I was relieved to find that he was already in bed in the spare room when I got home so I didn’t have to make polite conversation.
I decided I’d better make more of an effort to find somewhere to live.
The next day I woke up feeling really happy and positive. I leapt out of bed and walked around the house singing, as I got ready for work. Cam eyed me suspiciously over his paper and his cornflakes.
“Are you ok Charlie? Isn’t it a bit early for you to be up? And how come you’re so chirpy?”
I ignored him and carried on singing as I went up the stairs to get dressed. He did have a point though. I usually stayed in bed until the last possible moment when I rolled out of bed groaning. I would then decide that I didn’t have time for a shower and pull my hair back into a ponytail in the hope that no-one would notice how greasy it looked. I was supposed to be at my first appointment by nine and leave my last appointment at five but in reality I usually left the house at just gone nine and was back in plenty of time for Neighbours. Luckily I was good at my job and my customers loved me so I mainly got away it. The only person who did complain was the cold store manager who lived over the road from me and he was always making sly comments about my company car still being outside my house at gone 9am, but everyone, including myself, pretty much ignored him.
I spent the day in an excellent mood. I decided that I would call Will that evening and I was going to start flat hunting. It was time to move on.
I had an excellent day at work. I was on a roll. I took three orders from existing customers and opened two reasonably sized accounts. I also managed to look at two rooms in shared flats in my lunch break, but they weren’t any good.
I went straight to the gym after I had finished all my appointments and did an RPM class and then chilled out in the Jacuzzi.
When I got home I dialled Will’s number. We had a really good flirty chat and had a good laugh. After about half an hour I thought I’d better wind up the conversation.
“Well, it was great chatting to you but I’d better go now. I want to watch Holby.”
This was great. I was getting so good at this playing hard to get stuff and I only been single for thirteen days!
I sat down and watched Holby while my M&S “Count on Us” ready meal was in the oven. I just couldn’t keep my mind on it though. As I watched it I started to worry. Why hadn’t Will asked me out? But nine ‘o’ clock I was in a right state. I decided to call him back. I twirled my hair around my fingers nervously as the phone rang.
“Hi Will. It’s Charlie again.”
“Oh Hi.”
There was a pause.
“Um. I was just wondering if you were going to ask me out at all?”
There was a moment’s silence.
“Er right,” said Will. “Ok. Well what about next Wednesday? Would you like to come over to dinner?”
“Yeah. That would be great. I’ll see you then.”
As I hung up I had the horrible feeling that I’d made a big mistake. Never mind, I thought. I tried to look on the bright side. At least I had a date with Will.
Rule no. 1: Never Sleep with a Guy on the First date (and especially not before)
I was really excited. My friend Ed had invited me out for his birthday and his sexy single mate Will was going along. I had fancied Will for a while. He was really sexy. I hoped that he might he fancy me too.
We were going out for a meal and then clubbing and then all staying over at Ed’s. Most of other my mates couldn’t make it, so it was mainly people that I didn’t know. I only really knew Ed, his girlfriend Anna and Will. I was very excited and nervous, all at the same time. It was my first night out as a single girl.
I was looking pretty good, even if I do say so myself. I was slightly overweight; about half a stone, but I still think I was pretty sexy, and I’ve always had a great pair of tits.
I wore my black, wide-legged trousers and a low cut, dark pink top with a little pair of sandals. The sandals had tiny heels. I loved high heels but unfortunately I couldn’t wear them as they kill my feet. I would take comfort over fashion every time.
I arrived at Ed’s with my obligatory bottle of plonk, Wolf Blass Yellow Label Chardonnay, which was one of my favourites. He introduced me to a couple of his friends that were already there and I sat at the table with a glass of wine making polite chitchat and trying not to devour the nibbles. I was starving, as always, and Pringles are one of my favourites. It’s a good job they didn’t have those little peanut things in the crispy coating. I might not have been able to control myself and I didn’t want people to think I was greedy.
When Will arrived up I suddenly felt slightly awkward. I got up to say Hello and kissed him on the cheek self-consciously.
“Hi, How are you?”
He joined the conversation and I was bemused to notice that the others, who incidentally were all couples, were talking about gardening and house prices. Most of Ed and Anna’s friends were couples. “DINKY’s” – Double Income No Kids.
I wondered if Will was as bored as I was. I snuck a look at him out of the corner of my eye. He really was incredibly good looking, although I didn’t remember him having such big ears. I wondered if big ears meant the same as big feet. I smiled to myself.
He was quite tall with blonde hair and blue eyes. Not my usual type; I usually go for guys with dark eyes and dark hair. Will was really gorgeous though and he had a really fit body.
I suddenly realised that Sadie, one of Anna’s girlfriends had asked me a question and I had no idea what she had said. I bit my lip nervously and felt myself going red. Luckily I was saved by Ed coming in and announcing that it was time to make our way to the restaurant.
The meal was fantastic and the waiters kept the wine flowing. I sat next to Will and we made general chit chat. A couple of times his hand brushed mine and I felt a jolt of electricity fizz through me.
“So, did you hear I split up with Cameron?”
“Shit,” said Will. “Sorry to hear that. Are you ok?”
“Well, I’ve been in a serious relationship with Cam since I was 22 and I think I need some me time. I need to be independent. I want my freedom. I’m too young to settle down.”
I surprised at myself coming out with such pearls of wisdom. I ignored the thought at the back of my mind that actually I was desperate to get into a relationship. Anyway, Will seemed to lap it up.
We moved on to a club afterwards and I was tingling with anticipation. I was looking forward to a dance and maybe a kiss with Will.
It was a long time since I’d been single but I thought the best strategy was to hang around Will, flirt a bit and then move on. You know, play hard to get. I didn’t have to wait long before he grabbed me and kissed me. I was on a high.
He pulled me onto the dance floor and we started dancing. Very sexily, I might add. I was nearly swooning. Not only was he extremely good-looking (apart from the big ears), and extremely sexy, he was also a pretty good mover. I loved a man that could dance. My two main criteria for my ideal man were a man that could dance and a man that could make me laugh.
“Come on,” said Will, after kissing me for what seemed like the thousandth time, “Let me buy you another drink”.
We stood at the bar chatting. “You know,” said Will, “You might not be single for very long. How would you feel about that?” He leaned into me drunkenly and gave me another kiss.
Bloody hell. He was coming on a bit strong. He is yummy though, I thought.
As we walked back to Ed’s Will took his denim jacket off and put it around my shoulders. What a gentleman, I thought.
When we got back to Ed’s, we just sat around drinking, smoking and playing CDs. Will and I soon made our excuses and slipped off to the spare room.
We had the most amazing sex. I thought it would be weird sleeping with someone else after Cam, but I have to say it was fantastic. It was very liberating. Let’s just say that Will was very well endowed and very good with his tongue.
We were just about to go for round two, when Sadie and her husband Josh interrupted us, coming into sleep on a mattress on the floor. I don’t think they were very impressed that Will and I had commandeered the bed.
“Come on,” whispered Will, “Let’s go into the bathroom”
We crept into the bathroom, stifling our giggles. Unfortunately the bathroom was too small and I was too drunk and too tired.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” I asked Will
“Nothing, why?”
“How about I come over to yours and we’ll spend the day in bed?” I suggested.
“Sounds like a great idea”
***
I woke up about six am and I really badly needed to do a poo. I crept past the kitchen where Ed was washing up the glasses from the night before.
“Morning Charlie, good night was it?” he said with a smirk and raised eyebrows.
“Er, yes thanks,” I muttered, blushing and scuttled off to the bathroom.
I was a bit concerned about my poo making a noise as the flat was very small and I didn’t want everyone hearing what I was doing, especially not Will. I tore off a big handful of toilet paper and stuffed it down the loo. That ought to hide any noises coming from my bottom or from my poo landing in the water.
I did a massive poo. It was very satisfying. I peered down into the toilet bowl where a massive log was perched on top of the toilet roll.
“Very impressive,” I thought, as I flushed the chain. To my horror, instead of going down the toilet, the poo, toilet roll and water were all rising up the bowl. I could feel the colour drain from my face as the water got higher. Please don’t overflow, I begged silently. Luckily, they stopped just in time. Bugger, what am I going to do? I thought. What a nightmare.
I went back out to Ed, rather shame faced.
“Umm Ed, there seems to be a slight problem. I think I’ve blocked your toilet up.”
We went into the bathroom.
“Jeez Charlie. What are you like?”
“Sorry,” I mumbled, staring at the floor.
“Hang on, I’ll get you some rubber gloves”
I stared at him horrified.
“Only Joking,” Ed laughed.
“Look, don’t worry I’ll sort it out with a bucket of water. You look knackered. You go back to bed,” he said kindly.
I went back to bed and snuggled up with Will. He sleepily reached out and pulled me toward him.
When I woke up Will had a stonking hard on, otherwise known as Morning Glory, but we couldn’t do anything about it as Sadie and Josh were still snoozing on the floor.
“Did you mean what you said last night?” said Will
Shit, what on earth had I said? Surely I hadn’t said anything stupid, like “I love you”.
“Er, what did I say?” I asked nervously.
“You said you’d spend the day in bed with me.”
“Oh yeah cool,” I said relieved.
I followed him back to his place. I was disappointed that he only had an old white Corsa. A bit of a girl’s car and not a particularly good one at that.
Will’s flat was a typical bachelors pad. It needed a bit of a women’s touch. His bedroom had navy blue walls and there were tartan sheets on the bed. I was impressed that it was quite clean though but then I found out that his Mum came once a week to clean it. God, what was it with men and their mothers? Cam was a complete mummy’s boy. He was still tied to his Mum’s apron strings. It was one of the things that had driven me crazy.
We spent the day having the most amazing sex and sleeping in between. I felt pretty good and very relaxed.
I lay in bed, not quite asleep, fantasizing about Will and I. In theory I needed time to be single and play the field, be the girl about town, but on the other hand, Will was lovely, sexy and amazing in bed. He might be the one. I pictured Will in a morning suit at the front of a church as I walked up the aisle in a classic off-white wedding dress. Mrs Roberts had a certain ring to it.
I was roused from my day dreaming by Will suggesting that we go for something to eat.
“Yeah, I suppose we have worked up a bit of an appetite”, I said grinning.
We went to the pub and had something to eat. I made the mistake of ordering the combo, complete with very messy spare ribs and I ended up with sticky red goo all over my face and fingers. So that was slightly embarrassing.
“So can I have your phone number?” asked Will.
Yeeesssss! I was really pleased. I gave him my number and deliberately didn’t take his. I knew what I was like, I knew if I had his number I would be continually texting and calling him and generally behaving like the bunny boiler from hell.
On Sunday I woke up feeling all warm and yummy. “Charlie and Will sitting in a tree. K –I-S-S-I-N-G” was playing in my head.
I phoned a few of my friends to analyse the previous days events. I was feeling pretty chirpy until I phoned my friend Sarah Jane. Sarah worked in the city as a lawyer. I always find a bit scary that someone my age has a grown up job like a lawyer. God, it’s almost as scary as being married or having kids.
“Hello Sarah Jane Malyon speaking”, she answered the phone in her plummy public school girl accent.
“Hi Sarah, it’s me. Charlie.”
“Charlotte. How wonderful to hear from you. How are you getting on without Cameron? Such a shame. He was such a nice man and so good looking”
“Yes. I’m fine thanks. I met someone yesterday. Well on Friday actually, but we spent the day together yesterday”.
“Oh Charlotte. You spent all day with him! Don’t you know you mustn’t make yourself too available? Oh God, you didn’t sleep with him did you?”
I was silent on the other end of the line. Shit, Sarah was right. I had made myself too available and I had made the classic mistake of sleeping with a guy too early. I hadn’t even waited until the first date.
“Charlotte Summers. What am I going to do with you? “
“So, do you think he’ll call?” I asked miserably.
“Well, he does sound pretty keen,” Sarah admitted “But if doesn’t call you by Wednesday ditch him. You can’t let these men walk all over you.”
We were going out for a meal and then clubbing and then all staying over at Ed’s. Most of other my mates couldn’t make it, so it was mainly people that I didn’t know. I only really knew Ed, his girlfriend Anna and Will. I was very excited and nervous, all at the same time. It was my first night out as a single girl.
I was looking pretty good, even if I do say so myself. I was slightly overweight; about half a stone, but I still think I was pretty sexy, and I’ve always had a great pair of tits.
I wore my black, wide-legged trousers and a low cut, dark pink top with a little pair of sandals. The sandals had tiny heels. I loved high heels but unfortunately I couldn’t wear them as they kill my feet. I would take comfort over fashion every time.
I arrived at Ed’s with my obligatory bottle of plonk, Wolf Blass Yellow Label Chardonnay, which was one of my favourites. He introduced me to a couple of his friends that were already there and I sat at the table with a glass of wine making polite chitchat and trying not to devour the nibbles. I was starving, as always, and Pringles are one of my favourites. It’s a good job they didn’t have those little peanut things in the crispy coating. I might not have been able to control myself and I didn’t want people to think I was greedy.
When Will arrived up I suddenly felt slightly awkward. I got up to say Hello and kissed him on the cheek self-consciously.
“Hi, How are you?”
He joined the conversation and I was bemused to notice that the others, who incidentally were all couples, were talking about gardening and house prices. Most of Ed and Anna’s friends were couples. “DINKY’s” – Double Income No Kids.
I wondered if Will was as bored as I was. I snuck a look at him out of the corner of my eye. He really was incredibly good looking, although I didn’t remember him having such big ears. I wondered if big ears meant the same as big feet. I smiled to myself.
He was quite tall with blonde hair and blue eyes. Not my usual type; I usually go for guys with dark eyes and dark hair. Will was really gorgeous though and he had a really fit body.
I suddenly realised that Sadie, one of Anna’s girlfriends had asked me a question and I had no idea what she had said. I bit my lip nervously and felt myself going red. Luckily I was saved by Ed coming in and announcing that it was time to make our way to the restaurant.
The meal was fantastic and the waiters kept the wine flowing. I sat next to Will and we made general chit chat. A couple of times his hand brushed mine and I felt a jolt of electricity fizz through me.
“So, did you hear I split up with Cameron?”
“Shit,” said Will. “Sorry to hear that. Are you ok?”
“Well, I’ve been in a serious relationship with Cam since I was 22 and I think I need some me time. I need to be independent. I want my freedom. I’m too young to settle down.”
I surprised at myself coming out with such pearls of wisdom. I ignored the thought at the back of my mind that actually I was desperate to get into a relationship. Anyway, Will seemed to lap it up.
We moved on to a club afterwards and I was tingling with anticipation. I was looking forward to a dance and maybe a kiss with Will.
It was a long time since I’d been single but I thought the best strategy was to hang around Will, flirt a bit and then move on. You know, play hard to get. I didn’t have to wait long before he grabbed me and kissed me. I was on a high.
He pulled me onto the dance floor and we started dancing. Very sexily, I might add. I was nearly swooning. Not only was he extremely good-looking (apart from the big ears), and extremely sexy, he was also a pretty good mover. I loved a man that could dance. My two main criteria for my ideal man were a man that could dance and a man that could make me laugh.
“Come on,” said Will, after kissing me for what seemed like the thousandth time, “Let me buy you another drink”.
We stood at the bar chatting. “You know,” said Will, “You might not be single for very long. How would you feel about that?” He leaned into me drunkenly and gave me another kiss.
Bloody hell. He was coming on a bit strong. He is yummy though, I thought.
As we walked back to Ed’s Will took his denim jacket off and put it around my shoulders. What a gentleman, I thought.
When we got back to Ed’s, we just sat around drinking, smoking and playing CDs. Will and I soon made our excuses and slipped off to the spare room.
We had the most amazing sex. I thought it would be weird sleeping with someone else after Cam, but I have to say it was fantastic. It was very liberating. Let’s just say that Will was very well endowed and very good with his tongue.
We were just about to go for round two, when Sadie and her husband Josh interrupted us, coming into sleep on a mattress on the floor. I don’t think they were very impressed that Will and I had commandeered the bed.
“Come on,” whispered Will, “Let’s go into the bathroom”
We crept into the bathroom, stifling our giggles. Unfortunately the bathroom was too small and I was too drunk and too tired.
“What are you doing tomorrow?” I asked Will
“Nothing, why?”
“How about I come over to yours and we’ll spend the day in bed?” I suggested.
“Sounds like a great idea”
***
I woke up about six am and I really badly needed to do a poo. I crept past the kitchen where Ed was washing up the glasses from the night before.
“Morning Charlie, good night was it?” he said with a smirk and raised eyebrows.
“Er, yes thanks,” I muttered, blushing and scuttled off to the bathroom.
I was a bit concerned about my poo making a noise as the flat was very small and I didn’t want everyone hearing what I was doing, especially not Will. I tore off a big handful of toilet paper and stuffed it down the loo. That ought to hide any noises coming from my bottom or from my poo landing in the water.
I did a massive poo. It was very satisfying. I peered down into the toilet bowl where a massive log was perched on top of the toilet roll.
“Very impressive,” I thought, as I flushed the chain. To my horror, instead of going down the toilet, the poo, toilet roll and water were all rising up the bowl. I could feel the colour drain from my face as the water got higher. Please don’t overflow, I begged silently. Luckily, they stopped just in time. Bugger, what am I going to do? I thought. What a nightmare.
I went back out to Ed, rather shame faced.
“Umm Ed, there seems to be a slight problem. I think I’ve blocked your toilet up.”
We went into the bathroom.
“Jeez Charlie. What are you like?”
“Sorry,” I mumbled, staring at the floor.
“Hang on, I’ll get you some rubber gloves”
I stared at him horrified.
“Only Joking,” Ed laughed.
“Look, don’t worry I’ll sort it out with a bucket of water. You look knackered. You go back to bed,” he said kindly.
I went back to bed and snuggled up with Will. He sleepily reached out and pulled me toward him.
When I woke up Will had a stonking hard on, otherwise known as Morning Glory, but we couldn’t do anything about it as Sadie and Josh were still snoozing on the floor.
“Did you mean what you said last night?” said Will
Shit, what on earth had I said? Surely I hadn’t said anything stupid, like “I love you”.
“Er, what did I say?” I asked nervously.
“You said you’d spend the day in bed with me.”
“Oh yeah cool,” I said relieved.
I followed him back to his place. I was disappointed that he only had an old white Corsa. A bit of a girl’s car and not a particularly good one at that.
Will’s flat was a typical bachelors pad. It needed a bit of a women’s touch. His bedroom had navy blue walls and there were tartan sheets on the bed. I was impressed that it was quite clean though but then I found out that his Mum came once a week to clean it. God, what was it with men and their mothers? Cam was a complete mummy’s boy. He was still tied to his Mum’s apron strings. It was one of the things that had driven me crazy.
We spent the day having the most amazing sex and sleeping in between. I felt pretty good and very relaxed.
I lay in bed, not quite asleep, fantasizing about Will and I. In theory I needed time to be single and play the field, be the girl about town, but on the other hand, Will was lovely, sexy and amazing in bed. He might be the one. I pictured Will in a morning suit at the front of a church as I walked up the aisle in a classic off-white wedding dress. Mrs Roberts had a certain ring to it.
I was roused from my day dreaming by Will suggesting that we go for something to eat.
“Yeah, I suppose we have worked up a bit of an appetite”, I said grinning.
We went to the pub and had something to eat. I made the mistake of ordering the combo, complete with very messy spare ribs and I ended up with sticky red goo all over my face and fingers. So that was slightly embarrassing.
“So can I have your phone number?” asked Will.
Yeeesssss! I was really pleased. I gave him my number and deliberately didn’t take his. I knew what I was like, I knew if I had his number I would be continually texting and calling him and generally behaving like the bunny boiler from hell.
On Sunday I woke up feeling all warm and yummy. “Charlie and Will sitting in a tree. K –I-S-S-I-N-G” was playing in my head.
I phoned a few of my friends to analyse the previous days events. I was feeling pretty chirpy until I phoned my friend Sarah Jane. Sarah worked in the city as a lawyer. I always find a bit scary that someone my age has a grown up job like a lawyer. God, it’s almost as scary as being married or having kids.
“Hello Sarah Jane Malyon speaking”, she answered the phone in her plummy public school girl accent.
“Hi Sarah, it’s me. Charlie.”
“Charlotte. How wonderful to hear from you. How are you getting on without Cameron? Such a shame. He was such a nice man and so good looking”
“Yes. I’m fine thanks. I met someone yesterday. Well on Friday actually, but we spent the day together yesterday”.
“Oh Charlotte. You spent all day with him! Don’t you know you mustn’t make yourself too available? Oh God, you didn’t sleep with him did you?”
I was silent on the other end of the line. Shit, Sarah was right. I had made myself too available and I had made the classic mistake of sleeping with a guy too early. I hadn’t even waited until the first date.
“Charlotte Summers. What am I going to do with you? “
“So, do you think he’ll call?” I asked miserably.
“Well, he does sound pretty keen,” Sarah admitted “But if doesn’t call you by Wednesday ditch him. You can’t let these men walk all over you.”
Introduction – Suddenly Single
I woke up one Friday in October and decided I would break up with my boyfriend Cameron. He was a lovely bloke but not for me. I was never sure if he was the one and I reckoned if I didn’t know, then he wasn’t.
I’d had two serious relationships. I went out with my boyfriend David for three years between the ages of 19 and 22. I split up with him because I felt that I was too young to be in a serious relationship. I wanted to spend sometime being single and playing the field. I had fantasies of moving up to London, being a party girl, working hard and playing hard.
I had always envisioned meeting the man of my dreams, the one. I wasn’t entirely sure if there was such a thing as the one. I certainly didn’t believe that there’s only person that’s right for you but I did think that there are only a few people that are right. I thought it was true that you just know. I hadn’t ever felt it myself but that’s what people had told me and I believed them. I guessed it was all about chemistry.
Then again there were others who would say that there’s no such thing as “The One” and you just have to make do with what you’ve got. I reckoned that they were just bitter because they hadn’t ever been in love. Not properly anyway.
I wasn’t prepared to settle for second best. My Mum had drummed that into me. She said that she knew that my Dad wasn’t right for her before they got married but she was too scared to do anything about it.
Actually David and I did get engaged. He wasn’t not the most romantic guy and he was pretty tight with money. I kept hassling him about getting married. I don’t know why. Deep down I knew he wasn’t right for me. Anyway, I started looking around at rings. I wanted a big fuck-off solitaire but knowing David’s finances and that fact that he was tight, I decided to go for a big fuck off cubic zirconia instead.
One Saturday morning on the way to the supermarket we passed H. Samuel and I asked Dave if I could show him the ring I’d seen. It had a white gold band with a large cubic zirconia stone. It was a bargain at £44.95.
So we went in and I tried it on.
“So, do you want it then?” Dave asked.
Shit. I wasn’t expecting that. I gulped.
“Err yeah. Great. Thanks”.
FUCK! What on earth was I doing?
As we walked towards Sainsbury’s Dave suddenly pulled me towards me.
“Charlie,” he said in a hushed tone.
Aah. He’s going to do something romantic, I thought. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.
He pulled me towards him and did a massive fart and it all went down hill from there on really.
David knew about my fantasies. He was quite a bit older than me and he was a bit of a father figure. He used to say I was living in a dream world and that I wanted something that wasn’t real.
So I split up with David because I wanted to be single and independent and met Cameron the following week and we started seeing each other almost every day.
It was doomed to failure from the start really because I was still hankering after my dream of being a socialite around town and having a string of casual boyfriends at my beck and call.
***
I told Cameron that I thought we should split up that morning before work and he seemed surprisingly ok about it. It was all very matter of fact.
I had decided that I needed to spend some quality time being single. I wanted to learn to be independent. I thought it would be really cool to be able to sleep with anyone I liked as well. No strings sex, fuck buddies and all that malarkey. It was so exciting. The world was my oyster.
The next day I woke up in a panic. Oh God. What had I done? Cameron was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Why did I let him go? How on earth did I think I would manage on my own? I was a blubbering mess if Cameron just went away for the weekend, let alone forever. How would I cope with being alone?
I told him that I’d made a mistake but he said, “It’s for the best Charlie”. Cheeky sod. He said he’d wanted to end it for a while but he didn’t have the balls. Bastard. I couldn’t believe it. I was devastated. I had thought he was completely in love with me. I lay on my bed crying my eyes out, sobbing into my pillow hoping that Cam couldn’t hear me.
I thought back over the last few months of our relationship. I supposed it wasn’t surprising that Cam had wanted to split up. I used to spend half my time bitching at him and the other half harassing him to marry me, even though I was fairly sure that he wasn’t the one for me.
We had started growing apart when we moved into together. At first it was great, we were at it like bunny rabbits. But as time went on, the distance between us grew. I was always niggling at Cam and he just became more withdrawn. He was always going out with his mates and his work colleagues, most of who were girls. Cam never wanted to have sex with me anymore and the more I tried to seduce him the less interested he became.
Anyway, he said there was no hurry to move out and he would help me to find somewhere to live. How jolly decent of him, I thought bitterly.
I’d had two serious relationships. I went out with my boyfriend David for three years between the ages of 19 and 22. I split up with him because I felt that I was too young to be in a serious relationship. I wanted to spend sometime being single and playing the field. I had fantasies of moving up to London, being a party girl, working hard and playing hard.
I had always envisioned meeting the man of my dreams, the one. I wasn’t entirely sure if there was such a thing as the one. I certainly didn’t believe that there’s only person that’s right for you but I did think that there are only a few people that are right. I thought it was true that you just know. I hadn’t ever felt it myself but that’s what people had told me and I believed them. I guessed it was all about chemistry.
Then again there were others who would say that there’s no such thing as “The One” and you just have to make do with what you’ve got. I reckoned that they were just bitter because they hadn’t ever been in love. Not properly anyway.
I wasn’t prepared to settle for second best. My Mum had drummed that into me. She said that she knew that my Dad wasn’t right for her before they got married but she was too scared to do anything about it.
Actually David and I did get engaged. He wasn’t not the most romantic guy and he was pretty tight with money. I kept hassling him about getting married. I don’t know why. Deep down I knew he wasn’t right for me. Anyway, I started looking around at rings. I wanted a big fuck-off solitaire but knowing David’s finances and that fact that he was tight, I decided to go for a big fuck off cubic zirconia instead.
One Saturday morning on the way to the supermarket we passed H. Samuel and I asked Dave if I could show him the ring I’d seen. It had a white gold band with a large cubic zirconia stone. It was a bargain at £44.95.
So we went in and I tried it on.
“So, do you want it then?” Dave asked.
Shit. I wasn’t expecting that. I gulped.
“Err yeah. Great. Thanks”.
FUCK! What on earth was I doing?
As we walked towards Sainsbury’s Dave suddenly pulled me towards me.
“Charlie,” he said in a hushed tone.
Aah. He’s going to do something romantic, I thought. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all.
He pulled me towards him and did a massive fart and it all went down hill from there on really.
David knew about my fantasies. He was quite a bit older than me and he was a bit of a father figure. He used to say I was living in a dream world and that I wanted something that wasn’t real.
So I split up with David because I wanted to be single and independent and met Cameron the following week and we started seeing each other almost every day.
It was doomed to failure from the start really because I was still hankering after my dream of being a socialite around town and having a string of casual boyfriends at my beck and call.
***
I told Cameron that I thought we should split up that morning before work and he seemed surprisingly ok about it. It was all very matter of fact.
I had decided that I needed to spend some quality time being single. I wanted to learn to be independent. I thought it would be really cool to be able to sleep with anyone I liked as well. No strings sex, fuck buddies and all that malarkey. It was so exciting. The world was my oyster.
The next day I woke up in a panic. Oh God. What had I done? Cameron was the best thing that had ever happened to me. Why did I let him go? How on earth did I think I would manage on my own? I was a blubbering mess if Cameron just went away for the weekend, let alone forever. How would I cope with being alone?
I told him that I’d made a mistake but he said, “It’s for the best Charlie”. Cheeky sod. He said he’d wanted to end it for a while but he didn’t have the balls. Bastard. I couldn’t believe it. I was devastated. I had thought he was completely in love with me. I lay on my bed crying my eyes out, sobbing into my pillow hoping that Cam couldn’t hear me.
I thought back over the last few months of our relationship. I supposed it wasn’t surprising that Cam had wanted to split up. I used to spend half my time bitching at him and the other half harassing him to marry me, even though I was fairly sure that he wasn’t the one for me.
We had started growing apart when we moved into together. At first it was great, we were at it like bunny rabbits. But as time went on, the distance between us grew. I was always niggling at Cam and he just became more withdrawn. He was always going out with his mates and his work colleagues, most of who were girls. Cam never wanted to have sex with me anymore and the more I tried to seduce him the less interested he became.
Anyway, he said there was no hurry to move out and he would help me to find somewhere to live. How jolly decent of him, I thought bitterly.
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